Ganruttfen is a god.

It takes the form of a planet-sized, dishonourable jaguar.

Ganruttfen created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Ganruttfen, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Ganruttfen, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Ganruttfen's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Ganruttfen's Holy Commandments

1. Always treat birds with great respect.

2. Ganruttfen must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Hide from indigo moths for they are unholy.

4. Always wear white.

5. Do not stand on grass.