Karfutmum is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, confident goose.

Karfutmum created the planet Saturn eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Karfutmum, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Karfutmum, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Karfutmum's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Karfutmum's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Never jump near dogs.

3. Never laugh in the presence of mice.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not cook food in pots.