Hamdinarnfly Jopgadmeg is a god.

She takes the form of a very thin, tiresome otter.

Hamdinarnfly Jopgadmeg created the world two billion years ago.

If you believe in Hamdinarnfly Jopgadmeg, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Hamdinarnfly Jopgadmeg, she will be mildly annoyed.

Hamdinarnfly Jopgadmeg's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Hamdinarnfly Jopgadmeg's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed turnips to foxes while wearing purple stockings.

2. Do not take Hamdinarnfly Jopgadmeg's name in vain.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never write about nebulae.

5. Never think about gravity.