Yikgethas is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, quiet scorpion.

Yikgethas created gold six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Yikgethas, she will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Yikgethas, she will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Yikgethas' most sacred site is Olmarch in Wales.

Yikgethas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Yikgethas.

3. Do not hurt horses.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Always help sick squirrels.