Kemlabbeg is a god.

It takes the form of a large, unselfish sheep.

Kemlabbeg created the Black Eye Galaxy nine million years ago.

If you believe in Kemlabbeg, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kemlabbeg, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Kemlabbeg's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Kemlabbeg's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if nine great tits approach from the north.

2. Never think ill of sick tortoises.

3. Kemlabbeg must be the most important thing in your life.

4. Do not hurt moths.

5. Do not wear red clothing.