Voldobzak is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, cheerful jellyfish.

Voldobzak created gold seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Voldobzak, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Voldobzak, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Voldobzak's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Voldobzak's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never feed lemons to seals while wearing cyan dresses.

3. Never talk about black holes.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Always help sick tortoises.