Candanpan is a god.

He takes the form of a small, unsympathetic chinchilla.

Candanpan created light four million years ago.

If you believe in Candanpan, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Candanpan, he will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Candanpan's most sacred site is Pialeia in Greece.

Candanpan's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Never laugh in the presence of birds.

5. Respect your elders.