Tipfoncap is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, kind bird.

Tipfoncap created a top quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Tipfoncap, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tipfoncap, it will turn you into a goat.

Tipfoncap's most sacred site is Yerakini in Greece.

Tipfoncap's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Tipfoncap.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never think about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

4. Retreat if five capybaras approach from the west.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.