Jabgidgem is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, grumpy walrus.

Jabgidgem created the Whirlpool Galaxy four million years ago.

If you believe in Jabgidgem, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jabgidgem, it will torture you forever.

Jabgidgem's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Jabgidgem's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Put Jabgidgem first in all things.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never talk about gravity.

5. Do not speak about pineapples.