Shavlakflis is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, prudent unicorn.

Shavlakflis created an electron three million years ago.

If you believe in Shavlakflis, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Shavlakflis, he will throw large rocks at you.

Shavlakflis' most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Shavlakflis' Holy Commandments

1. Never run in holy places.

2. Never look at moons.

3. Do not dye your hair gray.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Never play with disobedient children.