Pinmumwab is a god.

He takes the form of a small, loving zebra.

Pinmumwab created life three million years ago.

If you believe in Pinmumwab, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pinmumwab, he will turn you into a blue tit.

Pinmumwab's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Pinmumwab's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no dogs in a room before entering it.

2. Never feed turnips to ducks while wearing turquoise scarves.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always look after injured cats.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.