Buskemtig is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, dishonest narwhal.

Buskemtig created the Sunflower Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Buskemtig, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Buskemtig, she will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Buskemtig's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Buskemtig's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Do not cook food in pots.

3. Never mention tapirs.

4. Never sit in holy places.

5. Always take life seriously.