Gessvonkrip is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely heavy, pitiless toad.

Gessvonkrip created silver nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gessvonkrip, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Gessvonkrip, he will jump up and down on your head.

Gessvonkrip's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Gessvonkrip's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Always help sick porpoises.

4. You must love Gessvonkrip.

5. Always help whales.