Cetbetyak is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, almighty camel.

Cetbetyak created bats five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cetbetyak, she will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Cetbetyak, she will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Cetbetyak's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Cetbetyak's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

5. Do not take Cetbetyak's name in vain.