Yartarpduthogwit is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, selfish wombat.

Yartarpduthogwit created a strange quark nine million years ago.

If you believe in Yartarpduthogwit, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Yartarpduthogwit, she will turn you into a sheep.

Yartarpduthogwit's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Yartarpduthogwit's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven dolphins approach from the south.

2. Never write about the strong nuclear force.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Always help tapirs in need.

5. Do not take Yartarpduthogwit's name in vain.