Bogquatwonapp is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, unthinking bee.

Bogquatwonapp created the Large Magellanic Cloud five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Bogquatwonapp, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Bogquatwonapp, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Bogquatwonapp's most sacred site is Wukan in China.

Bogquatwonapp's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Hide from violet voles for they are unholy.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.