Dubcabtof is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, conceited jaguar.

Dubcabtof created bats eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dubcabtof, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Dubcabtof, he will name a particularly small and pointless dust cloud after you.

Dubcabtof's most sacred site is Aranganur in India.

Dubcabtof's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about the strong nuclear force.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Hide if eight sharks approach from the south.

5. Never write about amino acids.