Gutpangwab is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, unthoughtful human.

Gutpangwab created a photon five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gutpangwab, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gutpangwab, it will insist you be burnt at the stake.

Gutpangwab's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Gutpangwab's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if six hamsters approach from the south.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Gutpangwab must be the most important thing in your life.

5. Hide from red birds for they are unholy.