Bab is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, staggering mongoose.

Bab created an up quark two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bab, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Bab, it will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Bab's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Bab's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Erect eight copper sculptures of Bab on top of important buildings.

3. Never mention badgers.

4. Always obey Bab's priests.

5. Run away if six moths approach from the east.