Aftansog is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, cheerful crab.

Aftansog created a charm quark two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Aftansog, it will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Aftansog, it will think nothing of it.

Aftansog's most sacred site is Thethampakkam in India.

Aftansog's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if four great tits approach from the north.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never feed turnips to porpoises while wearing green shoes.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never paint your hands fawn.