Sadquatarn is a god.

He takes the form of an exceedingly large, ruthless swan.

Sadquatarn created life twelve years ago.

If you believe in Sadquatarn, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Sadquatarn, he will turn you into a rat.

Sadquatarn's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Sadquatarn's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Hide if four aardvarks approach from the south.

5. Do not speak about beans.