Gum is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, sage penguin.

Gum created an up quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gum, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Gum, it will destroy your favourite planet.

Gum's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Gum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat wheat.

2. Always make sure there are no goats in a room before entering it.

3. Mice are unholy and should not be approached.

4. Always obey Gum's priests.

5. Hide from pink capybaras for they are unholy.