Betkanfig Stikflan is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, intelligent ferret.

Betkanfig Stikflan created the solar system nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Betkanfig Stikflan, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Betkanfig Stikflan, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Betkanfig Stikflan's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Betkanfig Stikflan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not take Betkanfig Stikflan's name in vain.

2. You must never eat garlic.

3. Never laugh near doves.

4. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

5. Do not wear silver on your body.