Rapfomnur Arfkennellsasgetyat is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely fat, almighty crocodile.

Rapfomnur Arfkennellsasgetyat created carbon five million years ago.

If you believe in Rapfomnur Arfkennellsasgetyat, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Rapfomnur Arfkennellsasgetyat, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Rapfomnur Arfkennellsasgetyat's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Rapfomnur Arfkennellsasgetyat's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a building before entering it.

2. Do not drink water in black rooms.

3. Do not hurt swans.

4. Never wear blue trousers.

5. Never think about moons.