Yakbass is a god.

It takes the form of a minute, loving swan.

Yakbass created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Yakbass, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yakbass, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Yakbass' most sacred site is Iona in Scotland.

Yakbass' Holy Commandments

1. Always help dogs.

2. Always help gulls in need.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Moths are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Do not stand on grass.