Timvilhom is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, witty lizard.

Timvilhom created a top quark nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Timvilhom, she will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Timvilhom, she will be very unhappy.

Timvilhom's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Timvilhom's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Timvilhom.

2. Worship no other gods but Timvilhom.

3. Do not kill seals.

4. Do not wear silver on your body.

5. Never bounce near squirrels.