Sastailcit Satmanxuc is a god.

He takes the form of a very long, all-powerful troll.

Sastailcit Satmanxuc created an atom nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Sastailcit Satmanxuc, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Sastailcit Satmanxuc, he will turn you into a mouse.

Sastailcit Satmanxuc's most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Sastailcit Satmanxuc's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear nickel on your body.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

3. Never sit in the presence of ducks.

4. Never talk about black holes.

5. Do not chop down trees.