Narlyamrat is a god.

She takes the form of a very long, happy dragonfly.

Narlyamrat created humanity six billion years ago.

If you believe in Narlyamrat, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Narlyamrat, she will torture you forever.

Narlyamrat's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Narlyamrat's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed gooseberries to porpoises while wearing magenta dresses.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Erect a large iron sculpture of Narlyamrat on top of all buildings.

4. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.