Gumspagpig Daparnzak is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, sage raven.

Gumspagpig Daparnzak created a bottom quark eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gumspagpig Daparnzak, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Gumspagpig Daparnzak, she will turn you into a hamster.

Gumspagpig Daparnzak's most sacred site is Temmes in Finland.

Gumspagpig Daparnzak's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from fawn ants for they are unholy.

2. Worship no other gods but Gumspagpig Daparnzak.

3. Do not shave your feet.

4. Never think about galaxies.

5. Always help sick tapirs.