Witbiggilzan is a god.

She takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, two-faced dugong.

Witbiggilzan created silver eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Witbiggilzan, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Witbiggilzan, she will turn you into a sheep.

Witbiggilzan's most sacred site is Thimmanaickenpalayam in India.

Witbiggilzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. You must never eat cucumbers.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Witbiggilzan.

5. Always treat hamsters with great respect.