Dossquimlap is a god.

It takes the form of a massive, passionate wren.

Dossquimlap created the world three million years ago.

If you believe in Dossquimlap, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Dossquimlap, it will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Dossquimlap's most sacred site is Denshawai in Egypt.

Dossquimlap's Holy Commandments

1. Never pour water over plants.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

4. Otters are not to be trusted.

5. Never think about stars.