Pagstaftonk is a god.

It takes the form of an eight thousand metre long, flying scorpion.

Pagstaftonk created a quark two billion years ago.

If you believe in Pagstaftonk, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Pagstaftonk, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Pagstaftonk's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Pagstaftonk's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five hamsters approach from the east.

2. Do not covet oxen.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never hurt doves.

5. Hide from fawn eagles for they are unholy.