Zenartquaf is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, compassionate hippopotamus.

Zenartquaf created the world six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zenartquaf, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Zenartquaf, he will turn you into a giant slug.

Zenartquaf's most sacred site is Gassin in France.

Zenartquaf's Holy Commandments

1. Zenartquaf loves shrews, so they must be honoured.

2. Do not wear blue clothing.

3. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Zenartquaf.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Always obey Zenartquaf's priests.