Fidkamquim is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, intelligent squirrel.

Fidkamquim created Mount Everest nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Fidkamquim, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Fidkamquim, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Fidkamquim's most sacred site is Daraina in Madagascar.

Fidkamquim's Holy Commandments

1. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

2. Never wear orange scarves.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think ill of sick rats.

5. Badgers are unholy and should not be approached.