Bafingcun is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, charitable monkey.

Bafingcun created gold two million years ago.

If you believe in Bafingcun, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bafingcun, she will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Bafingcun's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Bafingcun's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

4. Always obey Bafingcun's priests.

5. Never eat green fruit.