Bapcutsit is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, two-faced cat.

Bapcutsit created the Sombrero Galaxy eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bapcutsit, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bapcutsit, she will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Bapcutsit's most sacred site is Leps in Germany.

Bapcutsit's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Always make sure there are no mites in a room before entering it.

3. Do not trade with those who eat grapes.

4. Run away if nine dolphins approach from the west.

5. Never think about amino acids.