Kabcisscun is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, stupid hyena.

Kabcisscun created a quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Kabcisscun, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Kabcisscun, it will be mildly annoyed.

Kabcisscun's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Kabcisscun's Holy Commandments

1. Kabcisscun must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Hide if four swans approach from the north.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.