Damvedtam Gatnuljan is a god.

It takes the form of a four hundred metre long, bad-tempered jackal.

Damvedtam Gatnuljan created humanity nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Damvedtam Gatnuljan, it will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Damvedtam Gatnuljan, it will turn you into a duck.

Damvedtam Gatnuljan's most sacred site is Uruachi in Mexico.

Damvedtam Gatnuljan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help aardvarks.

2. Do not eat turnips.

3. You must pray to Damvedtam Gatnuljan four times a day.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not drink alcohol.