Arppoggil is a god.

He takes the form of a giant, awe-inspiring crocodile.

Arppoggil created a strange quark four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Arppoggil, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Arppoggil, he will be very unhappy.

Arppoggil's most sacred site is Pedraza in Spain.

Arppoggil's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Arppoggil must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Never wear white skirts.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.