Gunwansom is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, all-powerful armadillo.

Gunwansom created snails three million years ago.

If you believe in Gunwansom, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Gunwansom, it will turn you into a mole.

Gunwansom's most sacred site is Rautio in Finland.

Gunwansom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair white.

2. Never think about the weak nuclear force.

3. Never go into violet rooms.

4. Never eat aubergines.

5. Always obey Gunwansom's priests.