Disszogwip is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unselfish swan.

Disszogwip created Mount Everest twelve years ago.

If you believe in Disszogwip, he will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Disszogwip, he will hide angry, poisonous snakes in your dwelling place.

Disszogwip's most sacred site is Iskmo in Finland.

Disszogwip's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about aubergines.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not stand on grass.