Faryamlik Flaprullpopquart is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, moody mink.

Faryamlik Flaprullpopquart created Asia five billion years ago.

If you believe in Faryamlik Flaprullpopquart, he will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Faryamlik Flaprullpopquart, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Faryamlik Flaprullpopquart's most sacred site is Manamedu in India.

Faryamlik Flaprullpopquart's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from brown grasshopers for they are unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not laugh in public.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.