Gabniltag Tapruttmatlatjopquartgad Sogyattnil is a god.

She takes the form of a four thousand metre long, emotional goat.

Gabniltag Tapruttmatlatjopquartgad Sogyattnil created the planet Earth seven thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gabniltag Tapruttmatlatjopquartgad Sogyattnil, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gabniltag Tapruttmatlatjopquartgad Sogyattnil, she will turn you into a small brown duck.

Gabniltag Tapruttmatlatjopquartgad Sogyattnil's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Gabniltag Tapruttmatlatjopquartgad Sogyattnil's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Run away if six ducks approach from the east.

3. Never feed aubergines to great tits while wearing violet shorts.

4. Put Gabniltag Tapruttmatlatjopquartgad Sogyattnil first in all things.

5. Never go into orange rooms.