Bissjensigshav is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, fussy mole.

Bissjensigshav created the planet Mars eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bissjensigshav, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bissjensigshav, he will turn you into a rock.

Bissjensigshav's most sacred site is Letino in Italy.

Bissjensigshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at planets.

2. Never skip near tortoises.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Put Bissjensigshav first in all things.

5. Do not speak about cucumbers.