Tabbarnyatt is a god.

It takes the form of a galaxy-sized, clever porpoise.

Tabbarnyatt created an up quark three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tabbarnyatt, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Tabbarnyatt, it will turn you into a plant.

Tabbarnyatt's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Tabbarnyatt's Holy Commandments

1. Mites are unholy and should not be approached.

2. Never talk about moons.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.

4. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Never go into white rooms.