Timdav Fadnutfed Natnutthimart is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely thin, dishonourable penguin.

Timdav Fadnutfed Natnutthimart created an up quark twelve years ago.

If you believe in Timdav Fadnutfed Natnutthimart, it will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Timdav Fadnutfed Natnutthimart, it will turn you into a hamster.

Timdav Fadnutfed Natnutthimart's most sacred site is Mogonono in Botswana.

Timdav Fadnutfed Natnutthimart's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Never go into cyan rooms.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. You must pray to Timdav Fadnutfed Natnutthimart six times a day.

5. Do not speak about oranges.