Lopwothog is a god.
He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, grumpy
seal.
Lopwothog created vertebrates three million years ago.
If you believe in
Lopwothog, he will give you lots of grapes.
If you do not believe in
Lopwothog, he will cry a lot.
Lopwothog's most sacred site is Buskerud in Norway.
Lopwothog's Holy Commandments1. Never go into purple rooms.
2. Do not chop down trees.
3. Never sit near shrews.
4. Always stare at clouds.
5. Lopwothog must be the most important thing in your life.