Monrakgad is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, calm pig.

Monrakgad created the planet Earth five million years ago.

If you believe in Monrakgad, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Monrakgad, she will turn you into a plant.

Monrakgad's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Monrakgad's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Never eat green fruit.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of titanium.

5. Do not eat lemons.