Fotbambid is a god.

She takes the form of a two thousand metre long, happy donkey.

Fotbambid created tapeworms seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Fotbambid, she will be happy.

If you do not believe in Fotbambid, she will remove you from existence.

Fotbambid's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Fotbambid's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat aubergines.

2. Do not listen to music.

3. Do not shave your chest.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate mice.

5. Do not covet oxen.