Yarport is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, unjust fairy.

Yarport created a Higgs boson two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yarport, he will grant your every desire.

If you do not believe in Yarport, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Yarport's most sacred site is Troms in Norway.

Yarport's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about fire.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

5. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.